Goodness

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

“Some day these will be the good ol’ days.”, someone says.

.

These are the good ol’ days. Now. Right now. They are good now.

.

But I forget.

.

Tires spinning in mud. I’m spinning another bedtime story. Quietly, rubbing my eyes, I creep out of the room.

.

Now where was I? Folding.

.

I sit and do the quiet work. Sleeve in, sleeve in, the bottom up. Next pants. Then tiny pajamas with the feet. And a small shirt that will forever be stained no matter what I do. And what’s this? He left a wooden key in his pocket. It unlocks the treasures he keeps in a wooden mailbox.

.

My mind is spinning with all of the things I’m not doing. It’s racing with every way I feel I failed yesterday. Why do I do that? Should I have said that? I didn’t get to that. I neglected that. I dropped the ball. I lost the ball all together. Folding is quiet work and the quiet is bothering me.

.

Shouldn’t I first clear the counters? Aren’t there a hundred things littering the floor? I have to scrub and sort and plant and chop and sew and boil and… and…

.

I have to stop. I have to sit in the still house. I have to face what I wish I had done differently and let it go. I’m sorry. Forgive me. I messed up. Release.

.

I Remember now. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control…

.

It’s a new day. I won’t beat myself up. I’ll remember gratitude for another morning. I’ll remember all of the precious things I have to hold. In my arms and in my soul. Because really it’s when the gratitude slips that I slip.

.

The tide is coming in. It will wash all of yesterday’s failures away. And the salt will be left behind. The goodness. All of the good left laying at my feet. The goodness of an unfailing Love. Even when I am not good. That goodness remains.